29 Nov Where are you moving to?
Are you moving into a new House or a Home?
Although life is ever changing, yet some landmark decisions bring in significant changes in our life. Our family, friends, work, and home play the vital role. Here we are exploring three stages when a decision on Home becomes essential and exploring ignorance and ideas.
PHASE ONE – Home away
It was a change of House for me, as my Home remained there where my Home was. My home stayed there where my home was. From the sinkable feeling at the Youth Hostels Bed to the almost open Space in our Hostel, we had settled, in fact, fast enough.
Hours were passing like minutes, yet there were times in the day when the moments would get stuck, to where I felt I belonged.
It was not the time of mobile phones; neither did we need nor did we have a phone at our den, we would go and queue up a PCO (Public Calling Booth) a post trunk call era, so to say.
There were some who would chat for long; there were some who would be very fast, like lightning and want to make a point that they made the fastest call of the day if not a year. Some would keep an eye on time meter, and some merely ignorant reader.
In the queue of calling booth, we would play guess games looking at the callers. Noticing varied emotions, notions, reactions, actions, perceptions that I cannot explain, unlike to today’s robotic standard screen gazing, like a seeker on a telescope until he has that eureka moment.
Our calls were precise, filled with excitement and a standard set of questions; the limited predictive discussion was the most lucid and fulfilling discourse of the day. My parents would ask those specific questions, my mother on how the food was and my father stay relaxed.
After my Virtual trip home, it was time to go for studies and sleep soon after. As a result of that call, my bed diffuse homely scent and my lullaby would get louder in my head; in fact, they had reappeared after more than a decade.
PHASE TWO – Home away from Home
Immediately after my marriage, we lived with my parents for a couple of days, soon to shift into our own home in a different city. These two houses are strikingly different from each other, while my parents’ home is brimming with energy my place in Delhi was like a plain-Jane studio.
In fact, this studio turned out to be the best thing for my wife as it gave her along with me an opportunity to build things from scratch one by one over the days weeks and months to come.
Everything had changed for her from the location, family, friends, routine overall lifestyle, and everything else about home its scent, vibration, and energy, the idea of settling in a pre-set home was not there, and that became a robust tool for getting settled with a full sense of ownership.
We were going sailing smoothly, and this happened as we plunged together to set up our Home piece by piece. For us, it is another Home, away from our warm parental dome.
PHASE THREE – Change of Address
After shifting nineteen houses in my life and eight post marriage, we were moving into what we could call our home, it was ours, bought after a long wait and we were excited, our parents were delighted.
Got involved in designing and minute details wanting to give it a warm, cosy feel, I ended up spending little over six months to get in shape, the day of Graha Pravesh and there was still last-minute finishing touches pending at some places. We chose to ignore them and got involved with the ceremony, guests and housewarming get together with family and close friends.
“The excitement of living in your own house is just a state of mind, more so when you have been living on lease all your life. It turns out, our life is indeed, a lease! “
Immediately, after shifting to my new house, I felt I didn’t belong here, and I wanted to remain flexible in choosing my work location and travel to see the world. I wanted to live in different places, in fact, many more I had lived in till date. Owning a House is nothing more than an orthodox way of looking at stability.
The house is nothing, and everything is home, and home does not ask ownership. It is where you live happily with your family, it’s where your heart is, it’s where you wish to move to, and it should not take away your freedom and mobility in the name of ownership.
Besides various things, your own house brings stability, but there is a trade-off, a silent one when you chose to ignore a lot of opportunities and occasions as we feel to belong to where our house is, ideally your home should belong to where your life is. It is nothing more than a change of address.