Change Will Charge You

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With every passing moment, we are changing at the base of our cells, we are never the same body again, we are never the same energy again and we are never the same believer again, change is more constant than the word constant.

‘It will’ transcends to “it is” and eventually will transform into ‘it was’, hence transcendence appears to happen in time but surpasses with the sense of tense, and this is limited to our understanding.

Since eternity, our beautiful planet earth has metamorphosed into what it is today and continues to evolve. Change is happening all around us, it’s happening at a consistent pace, and it’s so discreet that it goes unnoticed most of the time. Abrupt and significant changes that jolt us from our comfort zone are most unwelcome and resisted with all might. However, change breaks monotony and introduces excitement and thrill into our mind and lives. When we welcome change with open arms and an open mind, the transition phase becomes extremely exciting and worth the effort. The change suddenly charges us up to live our life to the fullest by exploring and discovering the ‘New’.

I discovered my ‘New’ when I moved to pursue my Masters, and it was the time I had to leave my home and move. As our college was new and the Hostel was not operational, we (along with other students of the same college) had checked in to a Hostel, in-fact Hostel’s Dormitory, while waiting for our Apartment to be finalised.

That night in the Hostel, intense chatter in my head had depleted my excitement and opportunity to engage with others. I was called, tickled and even poked to zero resistance from my side. Only after a couple of tear washes, I was able to understand what was happening; it was just one thought – somewhere I knew I had left my home forever. It was testing me beyond my comfort zone & my nook; it was about my family, my friends, my neighbours; I had left them all.

We make these choices when we feel there is better in store for us and that’s the way it works. I was no challenger to this, as a shrewd trader, I operated.

That Hostel night was like a night in Hotel California, at that moment, my realisation was strong, in-fact till date I know it was one realisation which was bang-on and it pinches me with same intensity even now. I was to become a visiting-son at my-own-home.  Those chit-chats and shout-outs would soon become trunk-calls, confined in a bracket of time.

That night slipped and a couple of more nights at the hostel washed away my sins, we had moved in a real beauty on the fourth day, our Villa could accommodate seven of us, it was an independent corner house with a large verandah and roof at our disposal. The Verandah and the Roof played a more significant role in days to come, and they were our core play areas.

Between these days in Hostel and our own House, inquisitiveness turned out to be the strongest emotion – venturing the city, college, our house, classmates, teachers, even neighbours. We were buzzing; months passed… I realised we were a family of sorts; with a perpetual flow of guests starting from our friends to our classmates and friends of our friends were all jamming in, we were a community of sorts. I had embraced the new life; we had embraced the new life.

College time, zipped thru and soon after two years, it was time to say goodbye to everything we called Home. It was not two years, it was a bond baked in the kiln which could last our lifetime.

Now, in hindsight I ask myself, Is it so difficult to adapt to change? Especially if the change is of your home, your living space that anchors your life and all your life events and loved ones. I believe it becomes challenging to adopt only if we miss seeing the pleasant surprises the new transformation has in store for us.

My visits to my home, as a visiting-son remain frequent until I was a student, the bond augmented. Soon after my college days, my visits reduced, albeit gradually.

Over the past two decades, my parents’ visits to Delhi had increased, but my childhood home/my home was always the centre of my attraction.

My Mother passed away after twenty years of me graduating as a visiting-son, my visits to my home spiked in that year (to follow the rituals), they were fueled by pain, introspection, loss, and love – emotions flowing frequently.

With changing times, I am learning to live those memories in my heart and not seek them in that place which was my home and where I was a visiting-son. The energy of that home now manifests within me.

With my Mother gone, my Father is adapting to live in what we are learning to call our home, a change is chasing us, or we are chasing the change?

Once again in this place, in my space, I am wondering, how has this change charged me up?

rakesh
oohndel@gmail.com
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